Family Of Origin Issues

Codependency is handed down from generation to generation. We are attracted to other codependents because their patterns feel familiar. We fit like a lock and key and vow to “do it differently” than our parents. As children, we tend to take on roles to fit in and adapt to this family system. These roles often overlap and can change as the family changes. They include:

  • Family Hero
  • Scapegoat
  • Lost child
  • Family mascot
  • Enabler
  • Chemical abuser

Each role wears a specific mask to cover their pain. The process that children learn early is that there are unwritten/unspoken rules to follow:

  • Don’t talk (especially about the "family problems”)
  • Don’t trust (because of the inconsistency)
  • Don’t feel (because you will get hurt)

The family members get locked into their roles and obeying the rules, denying who they really are. The real self gets stuck and forgotten. We carry these roles to our adult life where they are no longer helping us to adapt but causing maladaptive and dysfunctional behaviors. Experiential therapy will help you to re-experience the family dynamics and give you new freedom to heal.