• Issues

Many people develop codependent behaviors due to living in painful and emotionally abusive relationships. Emotional abuse is behavior that makes all relationships toxic. Every relationship has moments of anger, distance, and upset. In a healthy couple these events are addressed with apologies and changes that help to mend the problem. In contrast, the wounds in emotionally abusive relationships are not repaired and the relationships continue to feel more damaged and toxic.

The easiest behavior of emotional abuse to recognize is verbal abuse. Verbal abuse involves repeated use of words and tone of voice to criticize and name-call, express sarcasm or contempt, attack, humiliate, threaten, and manipulate. Some forms of the abuse are non-verbal. Non-verbal emotional abuse can be punishment through withholding affection or refusing to speak. They might betray your trust in a variety of ways. Emotional abuse can also be seen with physical and sexual abuse. When it happens alone, it is easy to minimize the abuse and believe that “it is not that bad”.

Some possible qualities of an emotionally abusive relationship include:

• Possessiveness of control
• Suspicion
• Ridicule or contempt
• Cruelty
• Condemnation or judgment
• Indifference and neglect
• Criticism
• Destructiveness
• Blaming and punishing
• Secrecy
• Deceit

If you have been emotionally abused, do not discount your injuries. Just because you cannot see them - does not mean that they are not there. Emotional abuse is devastating to your self-worth and toxic to your relationships. Learning how to be intimate and in connection with others is important to your healing. Be patient with yourself.